A song I wrote a long time ago, but dragged it out of the cupboard recently and rewrote some of it. It has an interesting rhyme structure; - everything rhymes with 'durr...' not as easy to achieve as you'd think. I really hope the pirate notion is a totally fictional concept and doesn't give anyone ideas. There's a nice pun at the end.
Pirates on the Grantham Canal
By Grantham Town began the reign of terror,
Cursing and swearing at the waterside drinkers
Slashing moorings with a cut-throat razor,
Their getaway boat called the Jollier Roger.
Yo ho ho and a barrel of vodka,
There's pirates down on Nottingham Water.
Come away boys, row a bit faster
Row for your lives from the Jollier Roger
At dead of night, they're drunk on liquor
Their speedboat makes a wave 3 feet and over,
In its wake leaving trails of horror,
Screams and wails from the boats tipped over.
Then at the locks, and out of nowhere,
The pirates roar up on their Lambrettas
Demanding money from the frightened boaters
Taking hostage the lock-keeper's daughter.
3 days and nights they heard not from her;
Policemen searched all the country round there.
Till finally in a Lady Bay villa
They found her...with her pirate lover.
O damn your police dogs, do not come closer,
We have a gun, just a small Beretta.
And they leapt from a window, totally starkers
Got away in a yellow Honda...
But is that the end of the drama
No, it's going to be a little bit longer...
Can you hear the strains of laughter?
Shouting on the wind; it's not all over!
We'll be back before we are much older;
We've just gone shopping in Victoria Centre
At Guns R Us for a bigger shooter.
There'll be fireworks (pirate technics) when we see you later.
Yo ho ho and a barrel of vodka
There's pirates on the Nottingham Water
Come away boys, row a bit faster,
Row for your life from the Jollier Roger
